I love Great Britain and I'm sick to death of people complaining,whining, moaning dissing the poor place. I love it and am very proud of it in many ways.I get very annoyed when British people use too many 'Americanisms', don't get me wrong, I like America lots but they say 'season' instead of 'series', 'movie' instead of ''film', 'movies' instead of 'the pictures', 'fries' instead of 'chips', 'chips' instead of''crisps' and so on...stay British...and proud.
Great About Britain
Crab-catching in Dorset, an oncoming storm,
A fresh, nippy day but wrapped up warm.
A Somerset cider and a big bag of Tyrrells,
My Uncle Jack’s terrier who chases the squirrels.
Southend in July may be a bit foggy,
The Rock is quite tough and the doughnuts are soggy.
All of us Brits yes we whinge and we moan,
But Blighty the Mighty, you’re our life, our home.
What’s great about Great Britain, well just let me explain.
Us Brits we all just love to queue , and whinge about the rain.
That upper lip so stiff is eased when a lager quenches our thirst,
Sarcastic yes but our unique humour lets us laugh at ourselves first.
Meat and two veg in front of the box and a nice hot cuppa tea,
Avid soap fans that we are Eastenders and Corrie.
Cramped old caravans at soggy Bognor and the sport we never win,
But British stoicism ensures that we will never just give in.
Tea, crisps egg on toast, 3 lions on our chest,
Nowhere does it better mate, Great Britain you’re the best!
Great Britain Again
The great in Great Britain is simple to say,
Not how many raindrops do fall in one day.
Not waiting for buses on cold windy nights,
Or popping to Marks ‘cos you’ve laddered your tights.
It’s holidays to Devon and Cornwall in Spring,
And hearing sweet Goldcrests in June when they sing.
Pie and a pint down the local on Sunday,
And the quaint village scene when they host their own funday.
Then put your feet up with tea and some cakes,
Watch Delia Smith on the box as she bakes.
Fish and chip supper on Friday with mum,
And a warm home-baked crumble ,gooseberry or plum?
A little too pompous, well maybe a bit,
Be calm, carry on, be a very true Brit.
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Things To Do
A dream of mine would be to bravely spend a spooky weekend at the infamous haunted Tutbury Castle!!
It's in Staffordshire and it is said to be occupied by the ghost of Mary Queen of Scots who was imprisoned in the terrifying torture chamber.
Myself and my other half never get the opportunity to go anywhere interesting because we are always too busy sorting out our 2 childrens lives.It would be great to have some time away from them doing something that interests us for a change rather than endless farms, adventure playgrounds and kids parties!!
I'm very interested in ghostly goings on and this castle is said to have tragic and sinister ghosts that stalk the King's bedroom...this would be an absolutely enthralling experience.
I'm very interested in ghostly goings on and this castle is said to have tragic and sinister ghosts that stalk the King's bedroom...this would be an absolutely enthralling experience.
This is the mighty Warwick Castle, home to the historic Trebuchet..
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Why I Like Tea
Tea brings me a honeyed feeling,
It warms up me chilly bits and leaves me reeling.
Pulse is lowered and legs like jelly,
Like smearing warm chocolate all over me belly.
Flavanoid anti-what?..well if you insist...
But I’d call the taste an eden of bliss.
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In East Sussex, at the foot of the South Downs is a secluded camp called Blackberry Wood.
An eight year old sees only an adventure.
Sleeping under stars and looking for Mars through his telescope,
Hunting for foxes and collecting mini beasts in a jar.
An idyllic, rustic and peaceful clearing.
Simply a back to nature, cracking campsite that every young lad (and his daft old dad) should experience together.
Celebrating childhood, with British stoicism.
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Why I Like Cider...
Lying just ‘ere on this scorching day,
A fine Cornish beach across the way,
A pastie in one ‘and
A smile on me face,
A cold can of Scrumpy, oh ‘appy days...
The cool, golden bubbles I throw down me neck,
Don’t care ‘bout the chores
That me ‘ouse is a wreck,
The hubby needs cuddlin’ and the kids need their tea,
But all I want now is me Scrumpy an’ me.
‘Arsh old beer swiggers and wine tasting nancys,
Would rather glug cider or whatever I fancys.
The gulls ‘ere in Padstow they sometimes get grumpy,
Alright ‘ave me ice cream but don’t touch the Scrumpy!
Well, what can I say now that night time is fallin’
There’s no Scrumpy left, it’s simply appalling.
Best get back to the nippers and hubby,
D’ya think that he’ll mind that me ‘airs a bit grubby?
Same time tomorrow, ‘ere in the same spot?
A pastie, a cider some prawns in a pot...
For pudding I’ll bring me nan’s fine Apple Dappy
That’s all I need to make me life ‘appy..........
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London
My unique day out is a spooky affair to be started at the Dungeon,
To recreate the stinky slums of darkest Victorian London.
To witness the stench of torture and plague and London’s history,
That terrible great fire caused such pain and misery.
And then a ‘London Walk’ with Donald Rumbelow, a gent,
Who’d show me nooked and crannied alleys that the Ripper did frequent.
A tour of paranormal pursuit, we shuffle in the dark,
We might see the headless woman in moonlit St James’s park!
Then onto old Westminster in the glow of old gaslight,
Buildings of splendour and priceless art, it really would delight.
I’d love to see the Black Museum, a haven for twisted crimes,
Would love to learn the truths about those dark, sadistic minds!
It’s not all gloom, I’d end the tour in a quaint old Georgian pub,
A quart of wine and finish off with some good old British grub!!
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Imagine Windsor Castle For Sale.....
WINDSOR CASTLE FOR SALE £395 million (OIEO)
A rare opportunity to purchase this charming spacious castle on the leafy outskirts of West London.
Elderly but active couple currently residing, 900 year family residence, but they are deciding to move on due to the back breaking upkeep of their 13 acre outside space which is teeming with deer and other wildlife which although lovingly tended to they are in no fit state to care for due to work and family commitments, so this property would suit nature lovers.
Set in an enviable and elevated location on an artificial hill this solid, imposing yet graceful property retains lots of period features such as antique stone flooring beneath your feet, ornate ceilings, carvings and panelling in the very fashionable Gothic style.
Oodles of rooms to choose from (master containing en-suite) This castle comes complete with fully working Dungeons, bijou yet characteristic in their appearance. Permission has been granted to knock through the medieval walls to create a Utility space.
Many works of art are stored here in the nicely presented State Apartments such as Canalettos and Rembrandts. (Owners to be consulted if you wish to purchase any of these items)
Partially destroyed by a fire in 1992(possible cause was a discarded fag end resting on an empty Gin bottle from the elderly mother of the current owner, this was never proved) this fortress was lovingly restored by 1997 in the style it became accustomed to.(New floor plans can be found at Barratt’s head office)
Along with this residence comes the magnificently fully functioning St George’s Chapel with a real life vicar included. Entombed under the ancient and ‘country style’ flagstones are the remains of Henry VIII and Jane Seymour and about eight other rotten corpses. The ghosts of these aristocracy are still said to wander the grounds but don’t let that put you off. This delightful stately mansion remains romantically and historically rich.
Early viewing is strongly recommended so as to avoid disappointment and interest in this appointment is expected to be very high due to the heavy queuing outside just to get a look in.
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I Want An Aga..(but probably won't ever get one....)
The iron like hold of a husband’s arms, mirror the strength of the Aga’s charms.
Dependable commendable,
Strong, lifelong.
Consistent stability our young children desire,
wrapped up in soft towels warming toes by the fire.
And me, multifunctional, I cook, clean and dry,
forever on us, they will always rely.
Plate warmer, sock dryer, browner of toast,
provider of wonderfully home cooked rump roast!
Use us, mistreat us so sometimes we frown,
but be rest assured we will never break down.
Trustworthy old boiler stewing away all alone,
London
My unique day would start this way, a limousine of course,
James my private chauffer I say, ‘Please don’t spare the horse!’
Centre Court at Wimbledon I think would be just fine,
Quaffing champers ‘n strawberries would really be divine.
A private box is where I’d sit, I’m really in no hurry,
‘Oh good shot Rafa, 40 love, oh really, Come on Murray!’
Exclusive lunch at the All England Club would verily suffice,
Handmade scones with clotted cream are really very nice!
Match is over, well done boys and Rafa got a whopping,
‘Harvey Nics’, I say to James,’ I need to do my shopping!’
Prada suits and Blahnik shoes, I’m laden down with bags,
I’m gonna look just like those stars in all those fashion mags.
It’s just a dream and it’s not real so yes, it makes me blue,
But as they say, if there’s no dream, then how will it come true?
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This was taken in the most spectacular place in England as far as I'm concerned. We discovered a wonderful place in Cornwall called Bedruthan Steps, not far from Padstow, only accessible going down about 200 or so steps, sweeping coastline, majestic rocks,the smoothest sand ever and miles of space...stunning.
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London
The Mayfair Cavendish is where I’d rise from my soft ,luxurious bed,
A full English brekkie to set me up for my unique day ahead!
We’d start with a tour of London’s Gems, the Tower it does beckon,
Would they allow me to buff up the Jewels with Brasso, what d’ya reckon?
Then would be a genteel tea at Buck Hose with the Royal two,
‘Your garden’s just sublime old gal, is the pond from B&Q?
After tea a speedboat down the Thames of which I’m fond,
A hundred miles an hour, God I feel just like James Bond.
Suppertime now, I hear the food at Landaus is divine,
Thats as maybe ,what I really want is to choose from their thousand wines!
My day now done, I’m just so stunned at what London offers me,
This beautiful city is so unique, I love it so...YIPPEE!!
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More London
My London experience, not what you expect,
Believe when I say to me it’s perfect!
My fella and I , we stand in the sky,
We are not flying, we’re on the London Eye.
Down we do come when the journey is over,
With my favourite song blaring, ‘Champagne Supernova!’
We hop on a waiting old Routemaster bus,
Onboard is a chef who’ll cook solely for us.
After our meal we will sip on some bubbles,
And it’s not too long till I forget all my troubles.
Onlookers are staring but I don’t care,
Let’s just keep going to Trafalgar Square.
The fourth plinth is empty but it’s not a pity,
Upon it I jump to address this fair city!
‘I’ve travelled the world and wherever I roam,
My colourful London I love...my home.’
‘A toast’, I say and the crowd whoop with glee...
I toast not with wine but a British cuppa tea!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________________________A Great British Cereal...
Country Crisp it has to be,
The only cereal for me.
When I awake my breath is bating,
Knowing my Honey Clusters are waiting!
Their wholegrain goodness keeps me going,
And the fibre well, it keeps me flowing!
I even sometimes have it for lunch,
If I could all day, I’d crunch, crunch, crunch...
I love the nuts and adore the rice,
Something so healthy shouldn’t taste so nice.
A sumptuous brekkie gives a wonderful start,
It even gives you a healthy heart.
Well that’s why I love it, I must confess,
Jordans you really are the best!!
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Do Men Really Eat Muesli?
O.K yes I’m a man, big, tall and strong,
I do love my beer, don’t get me wrong.
But at 6am I rise with glee,
And fill up my bowl with Jordan’s muesli!
The juicy sweet fruit in the ‘Tropical’ delights,
The oats and the barley just simply excite.
The delicate crunch of the almonds I love,
A sweet subtle tang made from heaven above.
At Jordans with attention each seed is sown,
Friendly to nature each crop that is grown.
Proud of our farms us British should be,
Producing the freshest and best muesli.
My system is loved by wholegrain and the seeds,
My body receives all the goodness it needs.
An array of fruit goodies like flame raisins and berries,
Don’t forget the papaya, pineapple and cherries!
Just don’t tell the wife ‘cause she’ll eat all mine,
‘Stick with your egg love, you’ll be fine’
The kids have their cornflakes, they’re not choosy,
While I succumb to the mercy of my Superberry muesli!
No added salt so my heart just beams,
And quite low in fat, I can do up my jeans.
Feel so much better and yes I’m a man....
But if I can feel great then anyone can!!!!!
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These are some great old Co-Operative postcards featuring advertisements for merchandise...so quaint and very English....
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Another Great British brand...
Ryvita is neater, much better than toast,
Everyday for my lunch, I love it the most.
Smothered in houmous and topped off with grapes,
With a generous smattering of hot chilli flakes.
Or caked in cream cheese with pancetta and pepper,
My mid morning snack oh you can’t get much better.
If I’m feeling fruity then crème fresh is the key,
Laced with honey and almonds just fills me with glee.
As a late night time snack that will always please,
I’d have smoked salmon and cucumber, my taste buds are so teased!!!
But the overall winner for me has to be,
Ryvita ,tsatziki with sliced juicy kiwi.........
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